WHEN MY MIND IS HEAVY WORDS TEND TO SPILL OUT

I really don’t know why people are simpin about leaving friends and home and whatnot… I honestly can’t wait. When Friday rolls around I’ll be doing this all the way to Westwood

Why can’t Robert Langdon be a professor at UCLA 

Me: Hey what school do you go to?

Her: Oh I go to a community college. I’m pre-med. You?

Me: UCLA. Cool what year are you!?

Her: Oh I’m going to be a freshman.

Me: Oh you’re just starting! :D what major are you!?

Her: Pre-med.

Me: …. That’s not a major

Her: ….

Me:

Ok I’ve freakin had it with ignorant people! 

So the basis of this rant is based on people saying that I am not my race because I don’t act the way that I stereotypically should.  On this internship I’m at, theres this guy who is pretty cool. We’ve became pretty good friends but he continues to say that I’m “white washed.” -___-  Well excuse the FUCK out of me if I dont measure up to the stereotypical image of black people running around gang banging and robbing liquor stores.  Just because I listen to all types of music (except country), choose to speak in an educated manner, am getting an education, and I don’t know… avoid robbing banks all of the sudden I’m not Black anymore!? It is seriously irritating me and in a second he’s gonna get the image of what he really thinks a black man should be when I kick his ass!!!  

Sorry guys you can tell this is a sensitive topic ://

Honestly this decision couldn’t get any harder. Im really sorry I keep posting about this crap but it’s eating me alive. I’m almost pretty sure I looked at something wrong but (or I’m just in disbelief) it turns out USC is going to be cheaper for me to go to then UCLA!? I’m sitting here in complete disbelief… So I’ve come to the conclusion that someone is really trying to kill me with this decision because the one thing I was holding over SC was the price… And now it’s actually cheaper to go there. FML! 0_o

I was sitting here studying for my stupid lab practical listening to music and then all of the sudden this song came on that I haven’t heard in forever.  The last time I heard it was 2 years ago when I was with my aunt driving to drop her off at Ronald Reagan Medical Center for work (If that’s not a sign idk what is).  At this time I was still in high school and I just remember thinking to myself… “I wish I could go here, I would give anything to go here.” That song reminded me that UCLA actually is my dream school, and I just needed to be reminded that.  

This is the look I give when my friends who aren’t premed try to tell me to go out with them tonight and just study tomorrow…

They just don’t understand…

I just got some pretty good advice from the USC pre-health advising center. She made some really good points and at this point if I can somehow get the cost lowered to somewhere around UCLA’s then it’s going to be a toss up between the schools :( 

But a really interesting fact that she told me was that some universities actually have a cutoff point where they won’t let some students apply to medical school if their GPA or mcat scores aren’t at a certain level.  So this in turn skews results because some schools have really good percentages of students getting into med schools, but what if that school only lets the best apply.  Then of course their percentages would be high. Makes you wonder huh… well anyways

If anyone has any input at all feel free to throw your 2 cents in. I could use the opinions right about now x_x

Lately I’ve been trying to find some hobby to get involved in.  

• I like photography, but I don’t have time to take a class for it. 
• I have a guitar… but don’t know how to play it. 
• I would love to learn how to play the piano, but too expensive of a hobby to try to get into.  

In high school I used to play football and I was actually pretty good.  I had a full ride scholarship to a school in New Mexico, but I realized that I didn’t want to try to make a living out of football. So instead I decided to commit to premed. I’ve gotten so consumed in school that the last time I played football was almost a year ago.  This was something I loved and did 4-6 hours a day for 6 days a week all throughout High School.  I considered doing intramural sports, but then I told myself I probably won’t have time. 

When I heard myself say I wouldn’t have time for something I used to love set off this alarm that made me come to a terrifying realization… WTF happened to me! I used to have a hobby that I loved, and now the only thing I do is study and party.  So now I have a bigger underlying issue…  In the midst of this success I’m having with school and whatnot, I fear that I am losing myself and who I used to be in the process.

I just got into USC… yay…. But I already submitted my intent to register to UCLA and I’m not sure what kind of financial aid offer I’m going to get from SC. At this point it’s already going to be tough enough for me to may the $32k at UCLA so how the heck am I supposed to pay for the $57k at SC O_O I really hate SC for taking so long to tell me I got in.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a highlighter whore :/

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t YOLO enough… Officially added to summer to do list.

I understand that when premeds start looking up statistics of med school admissions and etc (i’m also guilty), we start to stress out and will do almost anything to get a leg up on someone else.  Some people will even purposely teach someone the wrong thing to get a better grade than them on a test (completely ridiculous).  When you think about it… all of us premeds are in the same boat and the same struggle, so why would anyone try to make it harder on someone else just to make it easier on you.  

In my eyes, a Doctor would never have to cheat their way to the top or screw other people over in the process.  Well here’s my opinion on this… since we all want to eventually be some type of Doctor right? Well why not start acting like one now.  Why wait to have doctor tendencies when you can be “doctor-like” now.  I know I wouldn’t want a doctor who graduated top of his class only because he screwed all of his peers over.  Basically what I’m trying to say is that anyone can weasel and connive their way to the top… But if you can graduate top of your class and at the same time make everyone around you better… Thats impressive… That is a Leader.